‘Tickling Butterflies’ – Al the Average Calms Down

Here’s the story so far. Now to the latest fairy tale:



Al the Average Calms Down

(Containing a remarkable tale of a man on the run.)


Al the Average feared King John the Cute.

He had feared him since before he was king. He had feared him back when John the Cute was cute, back when he was a child. He had feared him when John the Cute began to tell everyone of Al the Average’s radio. Al the Average feared very much that his precious radio would be taken away from him. And so, when he heard that John the Cute, now king, was looking for him and his radio, he ran.

For many weeks, Al the Average evaded the grasp of all the king’s horses and all the king’s men, until the Fates led him by the throat to Capital City, the palace, and King John the Cute’s presence. A blindfolded woman with a broken heart had thrown him on the floor in front of the king and left.

Holding a book in one hand and a radio in the other, Al the Average raised his eyes at his old acquaintance. “Please, please, please,” he begged. “Don’t take away the beautiful things I’ve collected all my life! They are precious to me!”

“Al the Average,” said King John the Cute, “I have no desire to take away anything that belongs to you. I merely wish to learn the secrets of the radio. Oh! There it is! In your hand! Minister Vazir, that square thing is the magical seashell I have spoken to you about. Examine it at your leisure, then return it to Al the Average.”

Minister Vazir, the man with the forgotten past, took a few steps towards Al the Average, and the two looked at each others’ faces for the first time during this day.

Minister Vazir said, “Do I know you? You seem familiar.”

“I’m sure I don’t know anyone who works in the palace,” said Al the Average. “But… I’ve seen your face before. It was different, though… I cannot place it.”

“Your highness,” Benjamin Miller, the seven-hundred-year-old lost orphan from another world recently rescued from the Land of No Respect, interrupted. “I don’t know anything about a radio. But the other object he is holding: that is a book. It has almost the same colors as the one my mother used to read me! That is an object from my land!”

Minister Vazir grabbed the book, looked at it, then passed it to King John the Cute, who examined it thoroughly. Benjamin Miller then touched it and smelled it. He nodded to the king.

“You have been to another land, a land that is not the Land of All Legends,” King John the Cute stated. “You must tell me everything you know. How did you get there? What happened there? What is it like? Who else knows how to get there?”

Al the Average rose to his feet, tears in his eyes. “Your highness… old friend… Do you promise to give me back my precious objects? The book and the radio?”

“I promise. I only seek information. Tell me what you know of this other land, and you shall have them back.”

Al the Average relaxed. He looked at his old friend and was relieved. “You must believe me, John the Cute… I mean, King John the Cute, that I have no idea how I traveled to a strange and magical land, nor do I know how I had gotten back. I have never been able to fathom these mysteries, or I would have spent much more time there.”

“Tell me what you do know, then, Al the Average. Tell me of this other land.”

“Very well, my king. But I must warn you that my tales are tales of a world that cannot exist. It is a wonderfully shiny world, but a horrible world, a strange world, a mysterious world, a dark world.”

“Al the Average, I must hear your tales nonetheless.”

Al the Average nodded and began to tell his troubling tales.

This has been the remarkable tale in which Al the Average stopped running from his king. This has also been the critical tale in which Al the Average began to tell his tales of the planet Earth.


(To be continued on Tuesday…)

Remember: You can have a fairy tale written about you.


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