Guest Post: How to Blow the Minds of SF Fans

SF Signal just published the third article in a ‘trilogy’ of articles about Mary Belle from Digital Kingmakers and her theories about SF fans and how best to appeal to them. Her latest lesson is the most disturbing of the bunch. Here’s a taste:

Here’s a little taste:

 

Well, I kept my word and returned to Digital Kingmakers for a third time. While the first time was infuriating and the second time was psychedelic, the third time topped them all by being so outrageous that had I written about it in a story, you would never have believed it.

Before we start, close your eyes. Try and imagine the craziest thing that could happen. I promise you that whatever you come up is not half as crazy as what really happened. I. Promise.

So. For the last time. Here’s what happened.

 

Read the entire article.

Turning Your Life into a Fairy Tale: Oded Ron

As you  know, three people will get to have their lives turned into a fairy tale in the Tickling Butterflies universe. Anyone can win a ‘ticket’. Another way is to be approached. A few people who I thought were interesting have been asked to guest post and write a paragraph or two about their lives, something that can be turned into a fairy tale.

Each person contacted can invite three other people (and only three) to do the same. You just have to choose interesting people.

The following is Oded Ron’s story. When I asked Oded how he wanted me to describe him, he sent the following picture, and asked to add “with a moustache”.

The Legend of the Biker Who Rode on God

Here is what Oded writes:

The open road led us only one way… Chennai, Madras. Riding our old and dusty 1970’s Enfield bikes through the rural and wild midland of India, where few white men have been seen by local people. We had very little money, no way to communicate with locals and we were definitely way over our young, reckless heads. My best friend, who would later introduce me to my future wife, was in India for a year now, riding every back trail he could find. When I arrived to India we contacted each other and I was to join him in traveling the subcontinent on a bike.

I had purchased a 1974 350cc Enfield from a young, long haired hippie, who named his bike ‘BARAKA’ in a desperate attempt to persuade god into keeping him safe. Of course… as a devout and practicing atheist I had different ideas for a name. The word ELOHIM was proudly printed on the new LP I had made for the bike I just bought. And so we headed off, from India’s north end and southwards – me, my best friend and ELOHIM. And so started the hardest, weirdest, saddest and happiest and best 3 weeks of my life…

Thank you for sharing, Oded. Now your task is to find three more interesting people who are willing to tell their tales…

Turning Your Life into a Fairy Tale: Andrea Johnson

As you  know, three people will get to have their lives turned into a fairy tale in the Tickling Butterflies universe. Anyone can win a ‘ticket’. Another way is to be approached. A few people who I thought were interesting have been asked to guest post and write a paragraph or two about their lives, something that can be turned into a fairy tale.

Each person contacted can invite three other people (and only three) to do the same. You just have to choose interesting people.

The following is Andrea Johnson’s story. You may know her as The Little Red Reviewer. She writes:

There’s nothing like having someone say “tell me about something interesting and important that happened to you” to make me realize how boring of a life I live.  I’m a bit of a homebody, I don’t go looking for adventure. I just happily live my life.

But I don’t live my life alone.

This is going to sound cliche and old fashioned, but the most important day in my life was the day I got married.  Sounds cheesy, right?

I wasn’t one of those girls who was raised to “find a man who could take care of me”.  I was never told I needed a boyfriend, or a husband, or a life partner of any kind. I was raised to be self sufficient and independent. I think my Mom fully secretly hoped I’d be the first unmarried female President of the United States (or better yet, Supreme Court Judge, as that president job is just a four year contract gig anyways. No long term career prospects there!).

Just because a person is self sufficient and independent doesn’t mean they want to be alone.

We’d known each other for years before we got married and I wholeheartedly recommend a few years of living in sin to all young couples. You learn a lot about someone by raising a cat together and sharing a bathroom.

Being a strong independent woman and being madly in love with someone, those two things are not mutually exclusive.  How do I explain what I went through without sounding like a 1950s girl who has been convinced she needs a man to have any self worth?  I had self worth up the wazoo before I got into the relationship, and I gave up nothing to continue the relationship.  Family members and friends suddenly had lots of advice to give me, advice about how I was too young to make a decision like this, that he was much older and just taking advantage of me, that our different backgrounds (both class and religion) would be a hurdle our relationship wouldn’t survive. What can I say? I was young and stubborn. But that doesn’t mean I was wrong.

I was raised to be strong and independent, and I didn’t want to be alone. I am a strong adult woman, and I don’t want to be alone.  In this, I can have it all. Getting married was a promise we made to each other that we didn’t have to be alone. Yes, we’re that nauseatingly adorable couple who holds hands in the grocery store and kisses each other while we’re making dinner together.

We’ll be celebrating eight years of blissful married this autumn.  Most days I still feel like I’m on my honeymoon. And I’m still very close with all those people who said it wouldn’t work.

Strength isn’t always physical.  Kick ass women are only stronger when their life partner loves them back.

This is an easy fairy tale to write: lonesome princess finds understanding prince, and they all lived happily ever after.

Thank you for sharing, Andrea. There are actually quite a few fairy tales in there, most not about a lonesome princess at all. But I’ll leave that to the readers for now.

Now you need to find three more people, Andrea, who are just as interesting…

Turning Your Life into a Fairy Tale: Lisa McCurrach

As you  know, three people will get to have their lives turned into fairy tales in the Tickling Butterflies universe. Anyone can win a ‘ticket’. I was thinking, why not turn to people I find interesting and ask them about a day, a moment, an event in their lives that’s important to them, something that I could later turn into an interesting fairy tale? I approached  a few people, asked them to guest post and write a paragraph or two. Their names will be added to the tickets list. And we can share in their lives and the magic.

Each person contacted can invite three other people (and only three) to do the same. You just have to choose interesting people.

Our first guest post is from Lisa McCurrach from Over the Effing Rainbow. She writes:

 

I will admit, when Guy asked me if I’d like to write one of these posts (and after some much-needed clarification, blame my woolly-headedness there), one thing alone jumped right out at me. This isn’t so much an admission that I live a really quiet life (I do) as that the event in question is, in my mind, the most important one of my life so far. It wasn’t surviving the hell that was my time at school to walk out six years later and never look back, though that one came a close second. And I haven’t chosen to write about this to be bitter, though even now it’s a little bit tempting. The most important and memorable thing that’s happened to me was finally giving up and ending a relationship that spent about ten years being more or less entirely destructive.

 

Not abusive. I should make that clear. The key word is destructive, because we both made a mess of things and we were both too stubborn to clean it up, until we had absolutely no other choice. Oh, everything was fine at first. Good, in fact. These things usually are. But sell-by dates are a good thing for good reasons, and we both spent most of those years ignoring ours. It’s only now that I’m looking back and seeing all of this for what it was. No one was hurting me but me, because I believed that being single (read: being alone) was worse than not. Turns out, I was very, very wrong. The world didn’t end with that relationship. Far from it, thankfully.

 

So of course I feel better now that I don’t do that anymore, and I hope he does too. At the end of the day, I can’t be bitter. It was ten years I can’t take back, but I can make up for them now. And you know what? I’ll be damned if I spend the next ten (or twenty, or however many I have left) stopping myself. There’s too much awesomeness out here in the world.

 

Considering Guy’s goal in asking for this post, I don’t know if there’s a fairytale anywhere in here, but I leave that in his hands. I’ll continue kicking my fears in their tender places, I think. I’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for.

Thank you, Lisa. There are quite a few ideas for fairy tales there, but I’ll leave that to the readers for now.

Benedict Cumberbatch, Neil Gaiman, and Guy Hasson Walk Into a Bar…

SF Signal just published a new guest post I wrote, called Benedict Cumberbatch, Neil Gaiman, and Guy Hasson Walk Into a Bar…

Here’s a little taste:

 

To be clear: this post is your fault, the fault of SF Signal readers.

In my last guest post a few weeks ago, I told you about how I was approached by Mary Belle, CEO of Digital Kingmakers, and how she offered to make my guests posts go viral.

It was…an experience, which I had fully relayed in my post. Her theories were infuriating. And yet, having done everything she said, the new post got 17 comments (viral by SF Signal standards), while my original post (no less brilliant) got none. (Don’t remember? Check it out.) That post even made the list for top 30 SF Signal posts in May.

True to my public promise, I returned to the offices of Digital Kingmakers. In the email that preceded the meeting, Ms. Belle promised to further reveal to me the psyche of the SF fans in a way that would increase my book sales by 1000% in a month.

Last time the experience was insulting. This time it proved to be…psychedelic.

I wish I could tell you I was making this up. But I can’t.

Here’s what happened.

 

Read the entire article here.

Guest Post at SF Signal: Keep It Stupid Simpleton

A new article of mine has been published over at SF Signal. A new trend in high-tech, called GOP (“Guest Post Optimization”), brands SF readers as stupid. Here’s a taste:

 

A few days ago, I got a phone call from an unknown caller.

“Am I speaking to Guy Hasson?” The woman was cordial.

“Yes,” I said, wary.

“I read your guest post in SF Signal,” she said as if we’re old friends. “The one about the zombies.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Strangers don’t usually call me about these things. There’s a reason God created email.

“And I saw no one left any comments,” she continued.

“Yeah?” I said, warier and warier.

“We can help you with that.”

 

Read the entire post here. Oh, and read the comments, too.

Guest Post at SF Signal: The Zombie Apocalypse Vocabulary

SF Signal was kind enough to publish a guest post I wrote about the zombie apocalypse vocabulary. It’s a comedy piece. Enjoy.

Confessions of a Science Fiction Author

The blog tour continues!

The blog AllwaysUnmended has published a guest post by me: Confessions of a Science Fiction Author. Here’s a little taste:

I got myself in a jam.

A year ago I came across a great idea for a science fiction story. But, innocently enough, since like many of my ideas it could actually be implemented today, I thought to myself: Why should I write a science fiction story about it when I can just create a start-up and potentially earn millions?

Well, that’s what I did, and that’s how the trouble began.

Read the whole thing here.

Guest Post: What Makes a Good Science Fiction Story?

As part of The Emoticon Generation blog tour, I guest-posted at Over the Effing Rainbow. I talked about what makes a good science fiction story and how science fiction can change the world.

Here’s a little taste:

There are many, many types of good SF, and there are many, many criteria that make a good SF story. But the more I thought about it, the more it became clear to me that through all the different genres, through all the different stories and books that I love, runs one common theme: Science fiction can change the world.

 

Read the guest post here.